Moving with your family
Somewhere you, your partner and your children can all feel at home. Partner work, childcare, schools, and moving on your own.
Moving with your family: the questions to settle first
The career can be right and the move still wrong for the people coming with you.
The questions behind it
We are recruitment specialists, not licensed immigration advisers; none of this is immigration, tax or financial advice. Confirm the current position with Immigration New Zealand and the schools before committing.
Children travel further than we expect
Children take their cue from you. Frame the move as an adventure, handle the practicalities in the background, and most adapt at their own pace.
A few unsettled weeks are normal and almost always temporary.
Can my partner work?
Two salaries or one changes what you can afford. Check it before you accept.
Yours, not theirs
A partner’s work rights follow from your visa and the terms of your job, and change if you move to residence. Read the conditions on the visa you are granted, not the one you applied for.
A separate question entirely
Regulated professions go through the New Zealand regulator for that field; otherwise an overseas qualification is judged by employers or assessed by NZQA. Start early.
Budget the first months on one income
Rework their CV for the local market before you fly. Job-hunting while unpacking and enrolling children takes time.
Two registrations, two timelines
Run both from the start; a second timeline discovered late is why families arrive months apart. Check their pathway alongside yours.
What to settle before you accept
Ask the employer which visa they intend to support, what conditions come with it, and what help extends to a partner.
Visa rules are set by government: Immigration New Zealand. Ethicare is not an immigration adviser. See also visas and immigration.
Childcare
The binding constraint is places rather than price. In popular suburbs the waiting list starts long before you land.
Learn the names
Education and care centres open across the working day; kindergartens keep school-like hours; home-based educators care for a few children in their own home; kōhanga reo run the day in te reo Māori. They differ in hours, cost and character.
Join waiting lists before you fly
You can be listed from overseas. Do it as soon as you have a suburb in mind, at more than one centre.
Understand what is funded, and what isn’t
20 Hours ECE: for children aged 3 and 4, the government funds up to 20 hours a week at participating services. Extra charges: hours beyond that, and extras such as meals or trips, are charged by the service; prices vary widely. Help with costs: Work and Income’s Childcare Subsidy and Inland Revenue’s FamilyBoost have income and residence rules. Ask each centre for its fees and which funding your child qualifies for on your visa.
Test it against a clinical roster
Centre hours were not designed around a 7am start or a late finish. Ask about earliest drop-off, latest pick-up and what happens when you are held past handover. A home-based educator or nanny share often covers the gap.
Official sources: Ministry of Education — early learning and help paying for early childhood education. For school-age children: schools and education.
Moving as a single parent
Two things need handling before you leave.
Consent to take a child abroad
Where someone else holds guardianship or parental responsibility, you will generally need their written consent or a court order. The visa application, an airline or a border officer may each ask for it. Carry certified copies in hand luggage.
- Full birth certificates showing both parents, not the short form.
- Any parenting, guardianship or custody orders, certified.
- A signed consent letter with the other parent’s contact details, or evidence of sole responsibility.
- Where a parent has died, the death certificate.
- Immunisation records and medical notes.
Childcare is the line that decides it
Budget on your own salary with care at full price. The first three months are the most expensive.
Build the network before you need it
Before and after-school care, holiday programmes, a neighbour, and one colleague who will swap a shift. Set these up in the first fortnight.
Negotiate it before you accept
Nights, weekends and on-call are different without another adult at home. Say so at offer stage.
Longer than in many school systems
The summer break falls over Christmas and New Year, when holiday programmes book out early. Check term dates before planning leave.
Consent and documentation requirements are set by government: Immigration New Zealand.
Preparing the children for the move
Talk it through, often
Share the news in good time and let them ask the same questions as often as they need.
Picture the new life
Explore the new town online: the playground, the beach, their school’s website.
Let them say farewell
A small party, a memory book, swapping addresses.
Keep one comfort close
A favourite toy, blanket or pillow travels in the hand luggage, never the hold.
Plan to stay connected
Grandparents and friends are a video call away.
Involve them in packing
Let older children choose a few of their own things to bring.
Sort documents & health
Passports, visas, immunisation records, medical notes and prescriptions go in hand luggage.
Surviving the long flight
Usually 24 hours or more with at least one stop.
Consider a stopover
A night in the Gulf, Singapore or Australia splits the trip in two and lets small bodies reset.
Tell the airline early
Request bassinets, children’s meals and seats together when you book. Use family boarding.
Pack a bag of surprises
Snacks, headphones, downloaded shows, and small wrapped activities handed out across the hours.
Dress for sleep
Familiar pyjamas signal bedtime; layers cope with cabin temperatures.
Ease little ears
Feeding, a drink or a chew during take-off and landing. Pack more nappies, wipes and spare clothes than feels sensible.
Go gently on jet lag
Daylight and fresh air. Expect early starts and odd-hour wakings for a week or so.
Lower your own bar
Screen-time rules can take the week off.
The first 48 hours
Keep the first couple of days small.
Rest first
The to-do list can wait a day or two.
Find the everyday
The local supermarket, park or beach makes the new place feel knowable.
Recreate small routines
The bedtime story, the same breakfast, the favourite cup.
The first few weeks
Get into school soon
Routine and friends are the fastest cure for homesickness. Our education guide explains enrolment.
Say yes to invitations
Playdates, birthday parties, the sports club: this is where friendships form, for parents too.
Expect the wobble
A few weeks in, the novelty fades and homesickness can arrive, for children and adults alike. Keep routines steady and it passes.
Saturday morning sport
An early start, a coffee from the club rooms and an hour on the sideline.
Rugby, football, netball
Junior grades run on Saturday mornings through the winter terms, organised by local clubs rather than schools. Subs are modest; second-hand boots circulate.
Swimming, cricket, athletics
Swimming lessons are close to universal. Cricket, athletics and touch fill the summer terms.
Gymnastics, dance, scouts
Gymnastics, dance, martial arts, Scouts and Guides run in term time and are advertised in school newsletters.
Sign-ups happen in the weeks before a season starts. Most clubs are run by parent volunteers.
Settling, age by age
Personality, family circumstances and past moves all shape how quickly a child settles. Starting points only.
Your routines matter most
0–4Often the simplest to move, though sleep and feeding can take a while to recover.
Friends through activities
5–10Many settle once school starts. Clubs and sport are the easy way in.
Keep old friends close
11–13Old enough to feel the loss keenly, young enough to make new friends readily. Help them stay in touch while building new circles.
The ones who need a say
14+Bring them into decisions, take homesickness seriously, and allow a term or two before judging how it is going.
Looking after yourself, too
Build your own footholds early: the school gate, one or two other parents, the communities who have made the same move.
If you are struggling more than seems normal, reach out to your GP, a helpline, or us.
I’ve sat with so many parents who lay awake over this. What I’ve seen, again and again, is that the kids are usually fine: within a term this is home. The calmer you are, the faster they settle. And lean on us; pointing families towards the right school, neighbourhood and people is one of the parts of this work I love most.
SophieFounder, Ethicare Resourcing
A question parents ask us
Can you help us choose where to live with the family in mind?
Yes, for families moving with a role through us. Tell us your children’s ages and any schools you have in mind, and we will help you weigh up neighbourhoods, school zones and commutes before you commit.